Billionaire Blog Posts

Billionaires Defend Wealthcare at California’s Blue Cross Headquarters

Posted on | September 25, 2009 | Comments

Billionaires took to the streets of San Francisco to defend their WEALTHCARE on Tuesday.

The Billionaires for Wealthcare movement began as a mere dream wafting in the smoke-filled back rooms of corporate suites, and soon spread across the nation for people with appropriate connections, e.g., megabucks. But recently the Billionaires were shocked to discover that the enemies of WEALTHCARE are attempting to strike back.

Bay Area Billionaires hired private detectives to sleuth and found out about groups in San Francisco, and worse, elsewhere in the nation, planning to stage attacks on America’s wealthcare system. Fortunately the Billionaires were able to intercept communiqués, and discovered the details of their enemies’ actions.

Billionaires for Wealthcare deployed in full force Tuesday in front of Anthem Blue Cross at 2 Embarcadero Center! Although outnumbered by the unwashed masses clamoring for health care reform, the Billionaires with upper lips stiff defended Blue Cross’ right to gouge the public.

The Bay Area Chapter of Billionaires for Wealthcare also took the opportunity to announce their support of the Blue Cross/Palin ticket for 2012. Because, after all, corporations are people too.

PRESS RELEASE: “Billionaires for Wealthcare” at Bachmann Town Hall, 5:30pm 9/25, Minneapolis

Posted on | September 25, 2009 | Comments

PRESS RELEASE for FRIDAY, 9/25/09

PRIMARY CONTACT: Peter Cooper 512-924-7561 cooper.peter.m@gmail.com

ON THE GROUND CONTACT: Glynda Ballinger 612-220-3564

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

“BILLIONAIRES FOR WEALTHCARE”

COMMEND BACHMANN FOR PRESERVING STATUS QUO

THANK TEABAGGERS FOR ENSURING THE FREEDOM TO DENY CLAIMS!

Friday, September 25th (Minneapolis, MN)

Billionaires for Wealthcare, the satirical street theater group composed of “Health Insurance CEOs, HMO lobbyists, and others profiting off of our broken healthcare system,” made a special appearance at Michelle Bachmann’s Town Hall Meeting this Friday, September 25 to “thank” her for protecting insurance industry profits. Billionaires met with Bachmann at Northrup Auditorium, on the University of Minnesota campus, at 5:30pm, in advance of her Town Hall Meeting.

Dressed in tuxedos and mink stoles, the Billionaires for Wealthcare commended Bachmann for her ferocious opposition to President Obama’s ‘public option.’

“Medicare is 10 times more efficient than private insurance,” said Frida Market. “They don’t have to do any marketing, only 3% of their costs are paperwork, and they don’t pay out huge CEO salaries. The public option will just be more of the same. Where is the profit in that?”

Other Billionaires addressed the issue of rising health care costs. “Michelle Bachmann is a loyal friend,” said Z. Roe Compassion. “But for every congressperson like her, I’ve got six lobbyists on my payroll. And they don’t come cheap! Especially when all SEVEN of them have their hands out! We’re spending $1.4 million a DAY rigging the game and now you want to change the rules?”

PHOTO OPs will abound as Billionaires in tuxedos and evening gowns entertain the crowds, sing patriotic songs (“Battle Hymn of the Insurance Companies”), and pop champagne while holding placards that read “Let Them Eat Advil”, “Our Death Panels Turn a Profit” and “Fight Socialism: Abolish Medicare Now!”

For more information, please visit http://www.BillionairesForWealthcare.com

Billionaires Crash Reform Rallies Nationwide

Posted on | September 23, 2009 | Comments

The campaign for wealthcare is going nationwide! Billionaires across the country – from New York to California and dozens of places in between – stood up for their rights as profiteers and confronted a coalition of pro-reform groups in the streets.

Billionaires in New York and San Fransisco blockaded delegations from the reformers, putting their well-dressed bodies on the line in “UnitedWealth” and “BlueBlood/BlueSheilds” actions.  (See pictures from the NY action here, and pictures from SF here – San Fransisco billionaires also got some attention from Jezebel)

Blue Bloods from Middle America got in on the action too – Lawrence, Kansas Billionaires staged an action (pics here), along with our Minneapolis chapter.

More to come as the presses roll – and the kickbacks go out!

Edit: Columbia, MO Billionaires also made a splash

PRESS RELEASE: New York “Billionaires for Wealthcare” Defend Insurance HQ from Pro-Reform Rabble

Posted on | September 22, 2009 | Comments

NEW YORK “BILLIONAIRES FOR WEALTHCARE” DEFEND INSURANCE HQ FROM PRO-REFORM RABBLE

PROTECT INSURANCE INDUSTRY PROFITS AT ACTIONS NATIONWIDE

Billionaires for Wealthcare ( http://billionairesforwealthcare.com ), the satirical street theater group composed of “Health Insurance CEOs, HMO lobbyists, and others profiting off of our broken healthcare system,” staged nation-wide counter-protests against a pro-reform coalition led by MoveOn.org, Health Care for America Now and others.

Dressed to the 9’s to set themselves apart from protest rabble, the Billionaires for Wealthcare ranted against President Obama’s plans for a ‘public option.’

“Medicare is 10 times more efficient than private insurance,” said Clay M. Denied. They don’t have to do any marketing, only 3% of their costs are paperwork, and they don’t pay out huge CEO salaries. The public option will just be more of the same. Where is the profit in that?”

Other Billionaires addressed the issue of rising health care costs. “You think you pay a lot for healthcare?” Said Phil T. Rich “For every congressman, I’ve got six lobbyists on my payroll. They don’t come cheap! Especially when all SEVEN of them have their hands out! We’re spending $1.4 million a DAY rigging the game and now you want to change the rules?”

PHOTO OPs will abound as Billionaires in tuxedos and evening gowns entertain the crowds, sing patriotic songs (“We Shall Overcharge”), and pop champagne bottles while holding placards that read “Let Them Eat Advil”, “Our Death Panels Turn a Profit” and “Fight Socialism: Abolish Medicare Now!”

ABOUT BILLIONAIRES FOR WEALTHCARE

Billionaires for Wealthcare is a grassroots network of health insurance CEOs, HMO lobbyists, talk-show hosts, and others profiting off of our broken healthcare system. We are not a political, religious or even particularly well-organized group. We’re simple folk, thrilled profiteers, pouring out of our corner offices to dance on the grave of “Change.” We’ll do whatever it takes to ensure another decade where America’s pain is our gain. After all, when it comes to health insurance, if we ain’t broke, why fix it?

For more information, please visit http://www.BillionairesForWealthcare.com

Billionaires to the Streets! This Tuesday 9/22! Defend our Wealthcare!

Posted on | September 20, 2009 | Comments

My fellow tycoons-

Our movement, which began as a mere dream wafting in the smoke-filled back rooms of our corporate suites, has now reached the American mainstream.

Now the enemies of wealthcare are attempting to strike back. MoveOn.org (an organization funded by that most pernicious special interest group: Ordinary Americans) will be staging attacks on America’s wealthcare system next Tuesday, September 22nd in rallies nationwide. Fortunately we intercepted their communiqués, and have the details of their actions. We will not let them go forward un-opposed, and Billionaires for Wealthcare will be deploying in full force across the nation!

To get involved: click here to find actions taking place near you. If you find a promising event, recruit some fellow Billionaires and check out our tips for Defending Wealthcare from Pesky Reformists page to get started with planning.

Make sure you’ve signed-up with us to get plugged in to our national organizing database (good Billionaires always keep track of numbers), and drop our team a line at billionaires4wealthcare -at- gmail -dot- com. We’ll send you updates and helpful pointers as the day of action approaches.

Forward the Status Quo!

Phoenix, AZ: Billionaires Publicly Support local Americans For Prosperity Organizer, Tom Jenney

Posted on | September 19, 2009 | Comments

When the Phoenix Billionaires found out that local AFP organizer, Tom Jenney, was going to Scottsdale again to rally the teapartiers, we decided that his good deeds could no longer go un-rewarded.

Ol’ Tommy played a little hard-to-get at first, but he relunctantly did accept our check made out to “Americans For the Prosperity of Koch Industries“. We can understand his shyness, because before this we’ve been avoiding the public light as to our financing of the front groups. We’re wealthy and proud and we’re not going to take it anymore!

More pics here.